Top Ten Things A Husband Should Know When Living With A Pregnant Wife:

1.  As her belly button starts to stick out more and more it is not appropriate to rub it….a genie is not going to pop out and grant you 3 wishes.

2.  Her excuse of “I’m growing your child so I’m eating for two” is valid so just turn your back as she devours the whole bag of mini Reese’s Peanut Butter cups.

3.  She WILL use her belly as a TV tray for eating dinner in the living room.

4.  If you are out in public and someone asks her how many months she is and you yell, “YOU’RE PREGNANT??!?!? WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME?!?!? WE ARE SOOOO OVER!” it is really only funny to you.

5.  She will have to pee 167 times a day.

6. When she requests it, it is okay to just throw a wet wash cloth at her in the bathroom instead of going in while she is having morning sickness…you don’t need two people throwing up at the same time when there is only one toilet.

7.  There is a GOOD possibility she will cry while watching the movie, ‘Overboard’ (starring Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn).

8.  Never, ever, ever, ever say “Geez, you are HUGE!”

9.  The stretchy pouch on those maternity jeans is not to be used to hold your car keys, cell phone, and/or wallet.

10.  Go to an Army Surplus store and get a gas mask. That’s all I will say about that.

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